1943 Jan 17 - Esp to Henry - I beg you once and for all to leave me alone


Tú también tienes ideales y propósitos - que nada tienen que ver conmigo y a los que estarías pronto a sacrificarme, justificándote con las mismas palabras con que justificas el abandono de tu madre, de tu padre, de los tuyos. Y yo, no quiero ser sacrificada ni por tí ni por nadie mientras esté en mis manos evitarlo. Así pues, debes comprender que si me he hecho este propósito, tu insistencia para verme me resulta extremadamente embarazosa. Te ruego que de una vez por todas me dejes en paz. No quiero ni causarte ni que me causes más penas.

Nuestra incapacidad para ayudarnos mutuamente, para encontrar juntos un poco de felicidad, radica en que nuestros mundos son radicalmente opuestos. Tu sientes y piensas siempre en forma contraria a la mía; no recurdo que haya un solo punto en el que hayamos coincidido a excepción del que se refiere a causarnos penas y contrariedades una al otro. Ya te dije que quiero ser feliz, egoístamente feliz, A MI MODO. Conquistaré esa felicidad aunque sea para gozarla una hora, pero la conquistaré y el primer paso para lograrla es prescindir de tí.




You, too, have ideals and purposes - which have nothing to do with me and to which you would be ready to sacrifice me, justifying yourself with the same words with which you justify the abandonment of your mother, your father, your loved ones. And I, I do not want to be sacrificed neither by you nor by anyone else as long as it is in my hands to avoid it. So, you must understand that if I have made this resolution, your insistence to see me is extremely embarrassing. I beg you once and for all to leave me alone. I don't want to cause you or cause me any more sorrow.

Our inability to help each other, to find some happiness together, lies in the fact that our worlds are radically opposed. You always feel and think in the opposite way to me; I don't think there is a single point on which we have coincided except for the one that refers to causing pain and discomfort to each other. I have already told you that I want to be happy, selfishly happy, IN MY WAY. I will conquer that happiness even if it is only to enjoy it for an hour, but I will conquer it and the first step to achieve it is to do without you.