Breakup #3
The outbreak occurred Tuesday PM. You were saying, “I wish I could go home with you and stay with you all night,” Then I, like an ass, said, “a sucker would believe that. I used to.” You were justified in becoming very angry and deeply hurt. I was hurt because I hadn’t seen you for 7 weeks and you had just told me it would be 3 weeks more until I could have another date. That led to a heated discussion of your family problem – why you can’t see me more often. It ended with your declaration that your family meant more to you than your own life, love, future, etc. that settled the family question and left no room for doubt but in your anger you added further that that terminated your love for me, that you hated and despised me and wished never to see me again. You had changed in 15 minutes from deepest love to deepest hate.
I have never been unhappier in my life than I am now. The last 8 weeks have been hell. First you were sick and though you doubt it I was worried about your health. You swore then that never again would you sin. Not once since have you had a date with me. You said, because your mother was sick, but then you went hiking several times, once when you were sick. Our date we were supposed to have you cancelled to go hiking. I used to see you 2 Sundays per month – now not for 8 weeks. What other inference could I draw but that you didn’t want to see me; that Walter had been right for weeks when on Sundays, he’d kid me saying – “why aren’t you out with Esp? Where is she? Boy you’ve lost her, she may not have another man but she surely has given you the sack.”
You have become very afraid of your family. You don’t want me to ruin your life you say. I never kicked about the few dates that we had, but you never explained before that they were watching you so closely. Your mother raised you willingly, not by compulsion, and was not with aim of making you the slave of her family. If she didn’t want the burden of raising you there were orphan’s homes where she could have placed you.
Remember when you wanted to get an apartment? I said it’s too expensive for the times we’re together. You were mad at me then. The problem of your family existed before you met me. Your family is to blame for breaking us apart – don’t accuse me of those things. Every reason you give for not seeing me now you brushed aside 10 months ago.